About Me:...and now, for our featured presentation...
I'm a writer; from beautiful lies to ugly truths. my laughter embodies my undying youth. putting potential to use; my actions are proof. i'd like to punch out the easter bunny's tooth.
...there, that was my haiku.
Welcome to Ay Dios Mio land (it's like an NC-17 Disneyland)...parental discretion advised.
I write comedy, philosophical fiction, "please baby, please take me back" letters to exes, occasional ransom notes, two death threats to former employers (pasted cut-out magazine letters) and one suicide note that I never finished because Law & Order came on.
For fun I like to torture domesticated pets, make fun of the handicap and import nuclear warheads...all on the same night preferably. Ebay ain't got %&@$! on the black market.
I like to listen to classical and bossa nova music. It makes me feel like I'm in a posh penthouse overlooking the city, while thinking "You all are beneath me" because, well...literally you would be.
I rarely get depressed, but when I do, I just pop in some porn and I know that everything is going to be A-OK.
During my down time, I like to shoplift at Barnes & Nizzobles. I believe in higher learning, just not @ higher prices. As a wise elf once told me, "..there are two things in this world that a woman should never pay for...those being men and books."...words to live by. Eat your heart out Confucius.
I used to sniff rubber cement as a recreational drug for a quick high (that may explain the elf), but now I just turn the oven on while leaving it's door open and let the carbon monoxide do its thing. I pass out from time to time, but as long as I regain consciousness to do it all over again is all that matters. And since I don't pay the gas bill, it's a free high.
As a child I loved watching G.I. Joe, and if there's anything that watching G.I. Joe has taught me, it's that 'fighting for peace' is an oxymoron worth living. Bring it b*tch.
I may be clinically bi-polar but I'm not going to pay to find out.
I am a grammar Nazi...but sometimes I feel like proper grammar is propaganda, so I say 'sh*t', 'f*ck', 'b*tch' & 'c*nt' to feel like a rebel. ;)
I have OCD.
I have ****y eyes occasionally and I'm not high or smiling.
I taint sentimental moments w/perverse behavior because being mushy makes me feel weird.
If you'd like think that I do and believe all of the above, it's a crying shame that you believe me but don't believe in yourself. Shame on you.
If you'd like to pigeon-hole my personality due to what you've read above, feel free. I knew the ramifications of posting such asinine material as the complete stranger's guide to my first impression. So if I've chased away some profound, omniscient, potential new friend, I only have myself to blame. I guess I'll just catch you in the real (natural) world...at Barnes & Nobles...where people really don't talk to each other, so we probably wouldn't meet there either...just see each other and fake smile.
Music:anything.. and everything =)
Movies:romance, comedy, drama
TV:George Lopez is the man!!
Books:Anything interesting. And Everything interests me
Likes:Tall Men. Laughing. Flirting. Sarcasm.
Dislikes:People that say 'like' a million times! Liars. Being the only one late. Incompetent people.
Hobbies:Anything that is for girls.
Vices:Coffee. My Car. My Blackberry, texting! Smoking
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hey whats up
Lil05:40 PM EST